Friendship

The energy of today, Day 17 of the Omer is "true compassion is limitless and is not defined by our limitations or by our needs".  We are advised to "place ourself in another's situation or experience".  This energy is causing me to think deeply about a conversation I had yesterday about friendship.

What does friendship mean to you?  What will it take for you to become a good friend to another?

There are some interesting defintions of words and some categories that may help us on our journey to our greater selves.  We can use these three words as a measurement of our self and of our actions if we apply their meanings to our life.  1) Friend: attached to another by affection or esteem.  2) Acquaintance: a person one knows but is not close to.  3) Enemy: one that is antagonistic to another.

Let's start with "enemy".  Antagonism is a conflicting force expressing oppostion or hostility.  I don't even want to think of the times I act like an enemy with my family and with those I am close to.  How many times have I been accused of wanting it my way?  In those moments I was the enemy.  I was a force of oppostion or hostility and was not open to hear what they wanted.

Then there is "acquaintance.  An acquaintance is someone I know but am not close to.  This is neutral territory, neither friend nor enemy.  I have lots of acquaintances -- many of whom I don't even know their name.  I can smile, wave, and say good morning.  But I haven't taken the time to get to know their name, let alone find out who they are as a person.

Let's talk about a "friend".  Friendship occurs when we open ourselves to the understanding that life is about growth, and that none of us has yet reached the place where we are perfect.  We all have more to learn.  But we hide our imperfections and keep them secret, which builds barriers to intimacy.  How can we be intimate with someone when we have a secret we don't want them to discover?  How can we help someone when we are afraid they might find we are vulnerable?

How many of us can say we have even one person who is a friend we would trust with the essence of our being?  How many of us can say we have people who trust us with the essence of their being?  How many of us even know what our own true essence is?  Do we even trust ourselves?  Do we live in a world of make believe?

A true friend sees the good and the negative and loves anyway.

Today is our opportunity.  Compassion is limitless.  Today we can see the truth within us and seek to put ourselves in the experience of another person.  We can work on developing trust, being open and honest, and holding nothing of ourselves back.  Today we can seek to experience true friendship.